Empathy Archives - Mona Lisa Ondevilla

IT 040: Are You Married To The Struggle and Addicted To The Stress? I was.

April 17, 2017

IT 040 Podcast Information:

  1. Listen in iTunes Here
  2. Listen Here Without iTunes
  3. Transcript available below

Hey lightworkers, it’s Mona Lisa and it’s Intuitive Tuesday, the radio show helping intuitives, introverts and empaths manifest the conscious and abundant life and business that they desire.

I want to talk today about a belief that’s been rearing its ugly head in my own life, and in the lives of so many of the women I speak with on a daily basis (on from word on the street from the FB group and in conversations with you!).

I’ve been hearing variations of the belief that we must struggle and work really hard and slave away in order to be successful.

And this belief can show up in all kinds of different ways and it can be very detrimental when starting a business, or when continuing a business that has already seen a level of success, or when you’re desiring to uplevel.

So in any stage of business, this belief can show up and do some serious damage.

The first thing I wanted to do is bring some awareness of this belief in your own life.

If this is coming up for you… see if this resonates with you in your core and if this feels like something that you’re struggling with.

Some ways that this belief can show up:

  • Believing that being busy and stressed out is glorified (even if you don’t consciously believe that!), it can show up by being busy and not being present, and rushing
  • Being really inspired and motivated to work on your business at first… and then putting on the brakes and self-sabotaging because a part of you believes that because success is right around the corner, it means you’ll have to struggle and the hard, hard work and tears is right there waiting for you
  • Not being able to relax in the things that you’ve already created in your life… it doesn’t necessarily need to be in business if you’re new. Maybe there are other areas of your life where you have worked hard and have a lot of things that you’ve accomplished and feel proud of.

Where in your life can you put down this go-getting energy and instead sit in the appreciation of what you’ve already created?

Take baby steps in celebrating what you’ve already done, what you’re already rocking in other areas of your life before you do this with your business and money mindset.

I want to differentiate here – it’s not that you don’t have to work hard.

In the book Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, he talks about how money doesn’t have to be this hard work/labor/burden type of thing in order for it to come to you.

But there does need to be action you do need to be taking consistent action, you do need to be setting up your structures, and speaking to your tribe and being visible, and sometimes that process isn’t enjoyable… nothing is going to be 100% OMG I love doing X all the time.

I don’t know what the pieces for you are in your business that you don’t necessarily enjoy, but that’s not to say that it needs to be a struggle and a burden, and feeling like “OMG this absolutely sucks and my blood and sweat and tears are going into this journey, and I need to not go to sleep and work 24 hours in a row, and make my hormones imbalanced, and gain a bunch of week and not take care of myself and work myself to the bone so that I can be successful!”

If you’ve already started a business and if you feel like this is self-sabotaging you, or if you’ve already received a level of success and you aren’t able to experience it, and this whole topic is resonating with you, then I first want you to focus on awareness.

In what ways is this belief of struggle = success, showing up in your life? What is it making you do or not do? Is it making you really go for it in your business and slow down, or be in overwhelm, or stay stuck in perfection? How is this specifically showing up in your business and life?

Be willing to examine the belief and really see the repercussions that this belief and then holding on to it for dear life, is having on your on your business.

As they come up, be willing to challenge them, you can journal about it, and if you have a coach, share it with your coach. Really be willing to call it out – don’t let it be in hiding anymore.

Make it a big deal.

Make this belief showing up in your life be a big deal, call it out! Call it out to a coach, call it out to a friend, journal it, and call it to the surface so you can then see how it’s affecting your life.

Then ask yourself, what are the news beliefs that you’d like to have instead of this one of success is struggle. What is the new belief you’d like to have?

Then begin to choose those new beliefs in that moment as your old belief comes out.

It will be a process of showing your old belief the door, allowing it to exit, and then creating space for your new belief to blossom.

Choose beliefs like… “success feels good, success comes easily to me, successful flows to me, I am already successful.” Make affirmations about them and really belief and feel them as you say it.

And ask yourself, where in your life can you allow yourself to experience more happiness for what you’ve already achieved? Where doesn’t it need to be a struggle where you’re still making it a struggle? Where can you experience more deep gratitude and more presence in your life?

It’s in the every day moments where I realize I’m hanging on to my old beliefs, it’s not always on the meditation pillow, or during an epiphany in yoga, sometimes it’s when I’m making tea or making dinner.

In the moments when you catch yourself acting a certain way because of your belief, remember you can choose otherwise.

You have the power to choose in every moment, and that’s what Gabby Bernstein calls a miracle – that instant shift in perspective, instead of choosing fear, choosing love.

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IT 037: The Girl-Boss-Next-Door Personality Checklist (Do You Have What It Takes?)

February 27, 2017

IT 037 Podcast Information:

  1. Listen in iTunes Here
  2. Listen Here Without iTunes
  3. Transcript available below

Hi gorgeous souls, it’s Mona Lisa and it’s Intuitive Tuesday, the radio show helping intuitives, introverts and empaths manifest the conscious and abundant life that they desire.

If you’re here, chances are, it’s important for you to live a fulfilling, soul-centered lifestyle where you get to just be you and show up in service to the Universe.

You dream of having mornings where you can ease into your day, have a nice hot cup of tea, and maybe do some yoga, before you start working with clients or writing your blog.

And you also think, hmmm… it would be nice to also make enough money to get you out of your full-time job, or out of financial fears. And maybe you’re warming up to the idea of having a lot of money, so you can do things you secretly desire to uplevel in your life, like being able to buy the really good tea from Teavana, or the Egyptian cotton thousand thread count sheets you’ve been eyeing for awhile. Elevated every day essentials.

You’ve thought about it – maybe you’ve even started a website, or ordered some business cards.

But, once you get past the initial excitement and dreaming, you might realize something along the lines of…  oh, crap, but I’m not the entrepreneurial type. Maybe I’m not cut out for this. (insert your illogical fears here)

I can’t do this – network all day? Go to business cocktail mixers every night? Be on video? Put myself out there?

Uh-uh. Not going to happen.

And then, you start to get discouraged and lose steam, because you don’t see how you can make it happen as YOU.

And I hear you – you worry that you don’t have what it takes to be an entrepreneur, because you’re introverted, intuitive, or too soft-spoken.

So, to eliminate the confusion, today, I want to share with you the personality traits and characteristics that make up the successful girl-boss-next-door.

Think of it like the ingredients to making a really good soup… you’ve got to have it all there in order for it to work.

I hope that this checklist inspires you to see that you have what it takes to make this your reality. Or, that it shows you where you’re missing the mark, so you can adjust your sails and get back on track. Or, that it shows you that this whole entrepreneur thing just isn’t your thing!

So let’s get into it!

To be successful as a powerhouse girl-boss-next-door, you need the following:

  1. A deep, burning desire to create a service-based business, beyond it just being about the money (the money is there, but it can’t just be about the money or else you’ll jump off the wagon at the first bump in the road). It’s gotta be something you love. If you don’t have this ingredient, you might as well jump off the wagon until you get it – it’d be like trying to make soup without water or stock.
  2. Next, you’re crystal clear on your why, or you’re ready and willing to find this out ASAP! You know your core desired feelings, your vision, and your mission, and it’s really important for you to live the life you envision – priority #1. Again, this ingredient is super important, because if you’re starting a business with “it would be nice to have a business that makes me money on the side, that I don’t really have to work on” it ain’t gonna work. Business needs some serious fire, especially in the start up days!
  3. A fierce willingness to go deep, transform your limiting beliefs, relationship with money, and old stories that need to be thrown out. Having a heart-centered business forces you to grow and develop yourself inside and out, and you’ve got to wanna grow.
  4. You hold yourself up to a high standard, and are committed to your success, no matter what. Failure is simply not an option because see 1 + 2.
  5. You are willing to learn from your temporary failures and setbacks, and are super resilient – you are down to course correct as things don’t go the way you planned (trust me, they won’t always go the way you planned, and that’s business!), and to continue taking action until you have a strategy that works for you!

And that’s it! Those are the 5 ingredients that will make you unstoppable as an entrepreneur.

Tell me in the comments of this Podcast, did you meet the ingredient checklist? Is there an area you need to develop? Or did you decide that being an entrepreneur is just crazy town and not for you? Let me know!

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IT 031: are you being lazy or just hibernating?

December 19, 2016


Tune in on iTunes here, or read the transcript below!

Transcript:

Hello gorgeous lightworkers, it’s Mona Lisa, and it’s Intuitive Tuesday, the radio show helping intuitives introverts and empaths manifest the conscious and abundant life that they desire.

Today’s topic is a message that I’ve been receiving straight from the Universe!  This topic has been coming up in my own life recently, with a majority of my private clients, in random emails, and in conversation with my support team.

The truth is, lately, I’ve been feeling an intense need to lay low energetically… which basically means, I’ve been wanting to do nothing except read, journal, take long, luxurious baths, turn on the fireplace, and do Christmas-y things with my man.

Now, this doesn’t come easy to me – I’m high-energy, go-getting, and love actively working on my lightworker business.

It’s easier for me to run a full scale marketing campaign than to sit on the couch and do nothing.

But this hibernating feeling is literally overriding my go-getting, gung-ho attitude. Every time I have a huge take-on-the-world plan for the day, my body tells me… how about we take a nap instead?

Now before I realized what was going on, I started judging myself pretty harshly – I criticized myself for being lazy and unproductive. I started saying all kinds of mean, untrue things about myself.

How dare I watch Gilmore Girls when there were launches to plan and campaigns to make? Hard work means success. Etc. Etc. That old programing came out, rearing its ugly head.

So I started asking questions. I started outside of myself first, with my acupuncturist, who told me that hibernating is absolutely essential because spring is right around the corner. Seasonally, it’s time to go within, to do the inner work, to do exactly what I’ve been naturally called to do. Otherwise, we won’t feel refreshed come spring.

When I meditated on this, I saw this was the truth for me. My inner guides confirmed what my body already knew. Then I started getting emails and messages all over the place that it’s time to relax and just be… that this is actually part of the process.

Interestingly enough, when I had worked through this myself, almost all of my clients brought up this same concern in their sessions. Funny how that happens!

So I want to pass the message on to you, too… the winter is the time for us to go within. To be cozy. To pass on the chaos, the franticness that the season may induce. To hibernate.

Because ladies… spring is just around the corner.

As introverted and intuitive lightworkers, you know this to be true, which is why you’re probably also feeling this need to withdraw.

Listen to that.

Listen to your body and your intuition.

One of the reasons I wanted to start my own business was so that I could honor my natural cycles and rhythms. I remember writing out… when December comes, I want to take a full TWO WEEKS off, just like when I was in school. That was one of my why’s.

And December is here, and I’m remember-ing … I’m exactly where I need to be, where I asked to be, before I even understood “why”.

If you’re listening to this, chances are you might not yet have the luxury of taking 2 weeks off (but I know you’re working to get there!).

So what does this look like for you?

Maybe it means giving yourself permission to actually enjoy the days off you DO have for the holidays, by getting support… Maybe it means not cleaning and hiring a housekeeper (unless you love cleaning). Or scheduling a couple of spa dates with yourself.

Maybe it means saying no to activities that don’t feel right at the moment.

What’s important is that before making any decisions, listen to your inner guide first. Get quiet. Give yourself permission to slow down.

For example, I LOVE my business mastermind sisters, and we’re all supposed to meet in LA for a girl boss brunch. Usually I’m excited and all about it, but when I listened to my truth, I knew it would be more in my service to stay home and bundle up for the weekend instead of jetset off to LA. And also, I didn’t want to show up and secretly want to be home – that wouldn’t be in service to my girl boss sisters!

So promise me something… no judgments of being lazy this holiday season, ok?

Follow your truth.

If you find yourself doing nothing except drinking cocoa on the couch, that’s OK.

Resting IS productive. Without it, you’ll burn yourself out and won’t have the fresh spring energy you’ll need to rock out in 2017.

Finally, I want to address this line between lazy and hibernating. Honestly, the only one who knows the answer is you.

Every moment, I’m asking myself… does this feel in service? Am I feeling aligned? Am I feeling inspired in this quiet, or lethargic?

For example, I’m still planning out my new year, but I’m doing so in my cozy home, with my cozy socks on, surrounded by candles and Christmas lights.

And when I do watch Netflix, I’m choosing shows that make me happy – Super Soul Sessions and Harry Potter! – and giving it my full attention and presence, rather than being on Facebook and email at the same time. I’m saying no to frantic.

So relax, release and receive… and know that if you’re being called to hibernate, there’s a reason for that.

You’re going to emerge being so, so ready for what’s next.

Alright my loves, that’s all for today’s Podcast. I hope that this has served you, and I’ll see you next Tuesday for the next episode of Intuitive Tuesday.

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IT 030: Ever Try To Make Yourself Invisible? Read This.

December 14, 2016

To listen to the Podcast in iTunes, click here.

Podcast Transcript:

Hey introverted girl bosses!

Welcome to Intuitive Tuesday, the radio show helping intuitives, introverts and empaths manifest the conscious and abundant life that they desire.

Today, I want to share something that has just come to the surface for me. The simple awareness of what’s going on with this for me has already brought a massive shift for me, so if there are those of you out there who are also dealing with this, then I want to bring your awareness to it.

Today’s Podcast is for you if you’ve ever tried to make yourself take up less time, less space, and even less money than what feels good, what feels expansive, and what feels abundant.

Do you allow yourself to take up time and space?

What about money for things that you want to buy… for pure joy?

As an online entrepreneur and success coach, I have a lot more time and space than I’ve ever had.

And I noticed that I have a tendency to squander it away!

And if you’re thinking… I have a corporate job, and I would never squander away my extra time if I had it.

I totally get it – that was me, literally less than two years ago when I was in a corporate job.

I used to say that if I didn’t have a full time job, and I had all day to work on my business, then I would always be so productive with my time.

But here I am… I noticed this pattern of whenever I had too much time, I found myself wasting it. Playing games, checking my email, texting my friends, scrolling through social media. And when I had too much energy, I used it.

One of my favorite energy draining things to do when I have a ton of energy, is doing a deep clean on the house (and I really go for it!). After, my energy is gone. Now I have less of an excuse to do that because I hired a housekeeper, but that was one of my favorite excuses to spend energy.

In regards to my space, I tended to walk quickly, avoided making eye contact with strangers, and I found myself sort of shrinking myself down and becoming ninja stealth mode.

I asked myself… why am I squandering away my time and my space, what’s causing this, is it because I’m an introvert… ?

If that’s what you’re thinking, the answer is no, it’s not because you’re an introvert.

I realized that I did this to get back into my comfort zone of having a set amount of time, energy, space, money… and it was a habit I didn’t realize I had.

And this habit is something that I picked up as a child, as a young teen, when I had to make myself smaller and less noticeable in my family because it meant that I was safe, safe from being ridiculed, safe from being laughed at, safe from getting attention, safe from being thought stupid.

So the less attention I attracted to myself, the less I felt these things. The more I was able to be a stealthy ninja the whole day, the more I could survive the day without feeling embarrassed.

This is a childhood belief that I was walking around with all day without realizing it.

Why does this matter?

It matters because the more present you are, the more successful you can be. The more success, joy and abundance will be attracted to you.

Take up the damn space! This means that you’ll begin to attract to you more joy, abundance and success.

By being small, and rushing, and not having enough time… you’ll attract more of that.

By shrinking yourself down, you’ll always be shrunk down.

By always squandering away money and energy, you’ll have and attract the amount of money and energy that is perhaps less than what you desire.

In Think And Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill touches on the concept of having to fill your current space in order to move on to the next level.

Think about the theory of evolution. Think about your personal evolution. Can you recall a time when you evolved somehow? Did you more than take up your previous space?

When you more than fill your current space, you can’t help but evolve.

So what does this have to do with your business?

This has everything to do with your business!

Because if you don’t claim your space, your time, your right to fully exist where you are right now, where you are today… you won’t move forward in your business or be able to sustain success.

You have to feel everything now, and you have to become a magnet for the expansion that you desire. You have to expand into yourself now and to be grateful and be present for everything that you have now because you will more than fill your space and you won’t be able to help evolving.

So how do you do this?

No more rushing, no more shrinking, no more squandering your time and space, your right to exist.

So if this resonates with you, I’m glad you listened to this. Your awareness to this is a major first step, and I also have a practice that will help you.

I want you to breathe into the feeling of the expansion, of taking up time and space and energy. How does that feel?

Allow yourself to experience pure laughter and joy and happiness, even if it feels foreign or silly at first… if you’ve been so used to making yourself small, making your joy small, play, laugh, dance, sing. Put down the blinds and do your thing, feel amazing because that is what you’re going to attract to you.

Become aware of yourself, become present in every moment.

When you find yourself feeling tight or making yourself feel small, notice it! And come back to breathing, and come back to the mantra “it is safe for me to take up time and space.”

Or if for you it’s money, or energy, you can come back to the mantra “it is safe for me to take up time, money, etc.”

I also have 3 bonus reads if you want to deep dive into this topic:

  • Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
  • The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
  • The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller

So that’s all for this episode of Intuitive Tuesday! I hope that this has served you, and I’ll see you next Tuesday for the next episode of Intuitive Tuesday.

xo,

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