IT 040: Are You Married To The Struggle and Addicted To The Stress? I was. - Mona Lisa Ondevilla

IT 040: Are You Married To The Struggle and Addicted To The Stress? I was.

April 17, 2017

IT 040 Podcast Information:

  1. Listen in iTunes Here
  2. Listen Here Without iTunes
  3. Transcript available below

Hey lightworkers, it’s Mona Lisa and it’s Intuitive Tuesday, the radio show helping intuitives, introverts and empaths manifest the conscious and abundant life and business that they desire.

I want to talk today about a belief that’s been rearing its ugly head in my own life, and in the lives of so many of the women I speak with on a daily basis (on from word on the street from the FB group and in conversations with you!).

I’ve been hearing variations of the belief that we must struggle and work really hard and slave away in order to be successful.

And this belief can show up in all kinds of different ways and it can be very detrimental when starting a business, or when continuing a business that has already seen a level of success, or when you’re desiring to uplevel.

So in any stage of business, this belief can show up and do some serious damage.

The first thing I wanted to do is bring some awareness of this belief in your own life.

If this is coming up for you… see if this resonates with you in your core and if this feels like something that you’re struggling with.

Some ways that this belief can show up:

  • Believing that being busy and stressed out is glorified (even if you don’t consciously believe that!), it can show up by being busy and not being present, and rushing
  • Being really inspired and motivated to work on your business at first… and then putting on the brakes and self-sabotaging because a part of you believes that because success is right around the corner, it means you’ll have to struggle and the hard, hard work and tears is right there waiting for you
  • Not being able to relax in the things that you’ve already created in your life… it doesn’t necessarily need to be in business if you’re new. Maybe there are other areas of your life where you have worked hard and have a lot of things that you’ve accomplished and feel proud of.

Where in your life can you put down this go-getting energy and instead sit in the appreciation of what you’ve already created?

Take baby steps in celebrating what you’ve already done, what you’re already rocking in other areas of your life before you do this with your business and money mindset.

I want to differentiate here – it’s not that you don’t have to work hard.

In the book Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, he talks about how money doesn’t have to be this hard work/labor/burden type of thing in order for it to come to you.

But there does need to be action you do need to be taking consistent action, you do need to be setting up your structures, and speaking to your tribe and being visible, and sometimes that process isn’t enjoyable… nothing is going to be 100% OMG I love doing X all the time.

I don’t know what the pieces for you are in your business that you don’t necessarily enjoy, but that’s not to say that it needs to be a struggle and a burden, and feeling like “OMG this absolutely sucks and my blood and sweat and tears are going into this journey, and I need to not go to sleep and work 24 hours in a row, and make my hormones imbalanced, and gain a bunch of week and not take care of myself and work myself to the bone so that I can be successful!”

If you’ve already started a business and if you feel like this is self-sabotaging you, or if you’ve already received a level of success and you aren’t able to experience it, and this whole topic is resonating with you, then I first want you to focus on awareness.

In what ways is this belief of struggle = success, showing up in your life? What is it making you do or not do? Is it making you really go for it in your business and slow down, or be in overwhelm, or stay stuck in perfection? How is this specifically showing up in your business and life?

Be willing to examine the belief and really see the repercussions that this belief and then holding on to it for dear life, is having on your on your business.

As they come up, be willing to challenge them, you can journal about it, and if you have a coach, share it with your coach. Really be willing to call it out – don’t let it be in hiding anymore.

Make it a big deal.

Make this belief showing up in your life be a big deal, call it out! Call it out to a coach, call it out to a friend, journal it, and call it to the surface so you can then see how it’s affecting your life.

Then ask yourself, what are the news beliefs that you’d like to have instead of this one of success is struggle. What is the new belief you’d like to have?

Then begin to choose those new beliefs in that moment as your old belief comes out.

It will be a process of showing your old belief the door, allowing it to exit, and then creating space for your new belief to blossom.

Choose beliefs like… “success feels good, success comes easily to me, successful flows to me, I am already successful.” Make affirmations about them and really belief and feel them as you say it.

And ask yourself, where in your life can you allow yourself to experience more happiness for what you’ve already achieved? Where doesn’t it need to be a struggle where you’re still making it a struggle? Where can you experience more deep gratitude and more presence in your life?

It’s in the every day moments where I realize I’m hanging on to my old beliefs, it’s not always on the meditation pillow, or during an epiphany in yoga, sometimes it’s when I’m making tea or making dinner.

In the moments when you catch yourself acting a certain way because of your belief, remember you can choose otherwise.

You have the power to choose in every moment, and that’s what Gabby Bernstein calls a miracle – that instant shift in perspective, instead of choosing fear, choosing love.

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