064: The First Thing You Must Do If You Want To Market Yourself Genuinely Online

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Fun Bonus: Before you tune in, watch the first minute of this video to get you in the mood (you’ll get it after you watch and then listen!).

If you’ve ever wondered how to market yourself authentically online, without having to be flashy, in-your-face or really, someone you’re not, in order to be successful… then this episode is for you!

Welcome to the Love Light and Business podcast, the podcast for introverted, intuitive and empath women entrepreneurs! I’m your host Mona Lisa Ondevilla, and today I’m gonna share with you the first thing you must do to market yourself genuinely - and successfully online, as an introverted and intuitive woman… who perhaps doesn’t love the spotlight, or even social media. Heck, I don’t even like being on my phone that much!

I often get asked, “how do I market myself genuinely online? How do I come across as a real, authentic person, rather than someone who is scripted or pushy?”

Marketing - the act of putting your brand, products and services out in the world with the intent of increasing sales - is a necessity in business, but can feel like quite the conundrum for new entrepreneurs who are introverted and sensitive-to-energy because, well… we don’t like to bother people, or be pushy!

And we definitely don’t like phony or fake people, with hidden intentions or motivations, and can spot them from a mile away.

So, do you guys remember that scene in Aladdin where Jasmine escapes from the palace, and she’s in the market?

if you can’t recall this scene, just imagine it - there are vendors all around, selling pistachios, dates, jewelry… a fish vendor even goes up to her with a huge slimy fish and says FRESH FISH! This part always cracks me up!

There are all kinds of vendors and customers in this marketplace, right?

The person who desperately needs fish for dinner will be happy that the fish man just came out of nowhere and shoved a fish in their face.

Another potential customer might not need the fish, but since the vendor was so aggressive, they might say… you know what, they’re right, I should grab a fish. And then they buy the fish. Then maybe later, they realize they wanted chicken for dinner, and now have buyer’s remorse. 

Now, I want you to imagine that you’re at this market, and you really wanted to find some tea. You’re not DESPERATE for tea, and if you don’t get it now, you’ll be ok, because it’s worth it for you to find the RIGHT tea. And once you find the right tea, you’ll be THRILLED to buy it. 

But, your intention is to enjoy the sights, and to take a walk in this desert oasis.

As you’re on your walk, someone selling tea comes up to you really aggressively and shoves their tea under your nose. THIS TEA IS THE BEST TEA they proclaim, as they attempt to grab your attention in any way possible, while bringing you to their stall.

It worked, just because you’re curious and wanted tea anyway. The tea smells good, but you can’t really tell because you’re a bit over-stimulated and slightly overwhelmed because there’s a lot going on in this booth - plenty of customers, a LOT of tea, a lot of loud colors and attention-getting labels. You pay for the tea and leave!

You’re happy to be out of there (more happy than finding the tea!), and the vendor is thrilled to have made a sale. Plus, this tea vendor is getting plenty of sales and attention, and is planning on expanding their booth. Anyone can see that this vendor’s tea is successful and popular.

Now let me ask you this… as a customer, did that purchasing process feel enjoyable to you? Did you like making that purchase? 

Not at all, right? 

Now let me ask you this, do you want to be that vendor? 

No?

Why not? 

That vendor is successful, right?

Well, I’m willing to bet that if you’re here and listening to this - you didn’t wanna be the vendor OR the seller in that instance.

YET that analogy is exactly how online marketing feels these days.

The loudest, most aggressive seems to be the winner. 

And this style of vending is EXTREMELY off-putting to introverted, intuitive women. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have a 9-5 than be that tea vendor!! That sounds exhausting.

Yet, so many of us think it’s the only way to be free - to join the loud vendors, because well, they are the loudest!

Yikes.

Now, let’s rewind back to that market for a second, before you met the frantic tea person (or even after).

What would be the BEST tea buying experience for you? One where you left feeling peaceful and SO HAPPY about your tea purchase, your experience, and you knew you’d come back and tell all your friends?

I imagine a beautifully decorated booth with floor pillows, hanging lamps, the scent of chai in the air, and a pleasant vendor well-versed and passionate about the tea they’re serving. It’s their delight to share their knowledge with you, whether or not you even BUY, because they love tea so much. 

You sit down, and have the chance to try a tea sampler, and you’re left alone to try each tea, and to come to the conclusion yourself that this tea is HEAVEN, the best tea you’ve ever had. 

And you’d buy their tea here - even if it’s more expensive than frantic tea vendor #1 - ANY DAY.

Now, if you’re here and you’re like… I’d still consider vendor #1 if they were a lot cheaper and the tea was the same, then that’s fair. 

But the thing is… most of the time, vendor #1 is a comparable price or EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE, than vendor # 2 because of their popularity… and their tea isn’t even better! 

(talking about online marketing here as well).

That’s absolutely ridiculous, at least to me… because I’d rather go with vendor # 2 any day, regardless of price, and I have a hunch, so would my tribe.

BUT… going back to the analogy I said earlier, there are a LOT OF vendors and a lot of potential customers walking around.

The question is - what kind of vendor do you want to be? What kind of vendor does your customer want? What kind of customer do YOU WANT?

For example… if you’d go to vendor # 1 because they’re popular, or because it’s exciting and thrilling there, even after seeing vendor # 2… then you are definitely NOT MY customer.

That’s not even a judgment because I’m pretty sure my husband - who is an extrovert and loves stimulation and checking out the trends - who go to vendor #1, at least to try it. 

I hope that analogy was helpful for you!

Now let’s wrap up with the initial title of this podcast, “The first thing you must do if you want to market yourself genuinely online”.

The first thing you must do? Know what kind of buying experience you enjoy. Because buying things can be quite pleasurable - people love to buy things, and people enjoy being sold to when it’s the right fit (if you doubt that, go back to the vendor # 2 story)! 

Once you understand what kind of buying experience you enjoy, pay particular attention to the stores you frequent, your own buying habits. Yours may be different than mine.

For example, I noticed I love buying my seafood from the Whole Foods counter because they really know their fish - they can tell me what salmon is in season, and recommend different styles of cooking for different meats. That is a premium service, that I’m willing to pay a bit more for. Maybe you’re not, and that’s OK. 

Just become clear on the buying experience you enjoy, because that is the buying experience you will feel authentic in recreating and reverse engineering for your tribe.

ALRIGHT I hope that was SO HELPFUL!!! Let me know on Instagram or FB what a-ha’s this Podcast sparked for you, and what kind of buying experience you enjoy!